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Premium Chocolate Shop. Premium Coffee Shop. Plant Based Foods. Except in tiny print you cant read without a fucking electron microscope I'm not even kidding. So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live alone, so sweet. I let the honk loose and its wrong.
Something just sounded wrong. I know my own wind, and I have never farted a sound that sounded like a fart wrapped in a pillow. Oh yes, something was very wrong. I had just shat myself.
But this evil olean makes shitting yourself sound almost like a regular fart, and had I not been particularly attentive, it could easily have gone unnoticed, I'm telling you. THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is.
What the fuck?! What if I'd gone out to hang with friends or gone for a drive, what then? So I walk carefully to the bathroom and disrobe. Sure enough, it was light brown, and had the texture of soft spackle.
You fucking Pringle bastards. I sat down and pushed a bit, and lo, out came a jet that I didnt even feel an urge for one minute earlier.
It piled in the bowl like brown marshmallow fluff. The problem rose when I tried to wipe. I went through a whole fucking roll of TP and could not get it all off me. My sphincter still does. That was hysterical. Thanks for the story; I can tell you that it is NOT an urban legend. Sat, Jan 18, pm reply quote 0 down up report You have lost me an afternoon.
Thank you for posting a question! Please click on the link in the confirmation email we just sent you to submit your question. Your question will appear on the site once someone answers it. Super Size Candy. Imported Candy. Beef Jerky-Meat Snacks Selections. Closeout Candy Deals. He was even featured on one of my favorite shows, Tosh.